|Nope. Nope, nope, nope.|
- James Joyce...because I'm pretty sure Ulysses and Finnegan's Wake are pranks.
- Marcel Proust...because get bored just reading about Proust.
- Ernest Hemingway...because I couldn't relate to anyone in the two books I read by Hemingway. They are men's books, but they didn't explain men.
- Virginia Woolf...because stream of consciousness drives me mental.
- William Faulkner...because of the stream of consciousness malarky.
- John Updike...because white dude's problems.
- Philip Roth...because white dude's problems and masturbation.
- Salman Rushdie...because I've found most of his books too weird to get into. I have a high tolerance for weirdness, but jeez.
- Sylvia Plath...because the thought of spending time in her head scares the hell out of me.
- J.D. Salinger...because I still think Holden Caulfield is a punk.
* ...unless someone can recommend a book by these authors that will change my mind.